Sunday, September 29, 2013

Refracted Selves

 
Do you ever feel beat up by life events?  This last week was a little rough as I had my most critical database still having problems from the prior week, and a class I’m taking being very difficult for me, so I was feeling pretty stupid.  Friday after the day was spent in some final repair of database issues and trying to use the software at work to write my program for school (which kept failing on me); I had a little wine on the patio with my text book to try to grasp how I was going to write this program by understanding the concepts, the syntax, and the flow required.  Things were not only more clear, but the air was cool and yummy to my skin, my boyfriend was working in the house preparing for a visit from his mom and her boyfriend, the cats were chilling outside with me, and I realized that I still was indeed very happy.  Life wasn’t so bad after all.  There was a lot to be grateful for.  I had many wonderful blessings.  I had simply allowed things to get to me and activate my old “conditioned self.”
 

The Christian evangelist Joyce Meyer is always talking about “your do” vs. “your who.”  She talks about how important it is to know “who you are in God.”  This is essentially the same thing as the Buddhist concept of “mindfulness” as I see it in that it refers to understanding who you truly are underneath all of your ego states, and behaviors.  This allows us to become very aware of our actions and they become less of reaction and more of chosen and creative responses.  Ram Dass talks about the power of meditation training your mind so that you can become more and more aware of thoughts and the spaces between the thoughts.  Slowing down allows for more creative potential because instead of being caught up in what would be reactions buffeted by outside forces, we can make choices.  In that space of being able to make choices, we can have more input to our individual and shared destinies.  David Bohm talks about the nature of Dialogue and the importance of coming together by dropping our “tacit understandings” – of course our conditioned selves, and slowing the conversation and really listening to each other. 

 
So how do we get to who we really are underneath all of our behaviors, experiences, and prejudices?  I suppose that’s why they call it “the practice.”  The concept is simple, the challenge is difficult.  Personally, I have a hard time with this.  I have to tell myself a lot inside my head to keep quiet and listen.  Sometimes then I get angry that I have so much overhead to have to try to fight negativity from my conditioned self so I get caught in the anger and then miss a lot of what is happening anyway.  However, I experience more that way than if I had opened my mouth and disturbed things in an outward sense.  I heard someone on Audio Dharma say that someone else said “when you’re in the company of others, watch your mouth and when you’re in the company of self, watch your mind.”  (not sure of exact verbiage on that quote)

 
 
Adult children have a little extra work to do in that it is difficult to attend and heal unmet needs while trying to mature those needs up and not perpetuate bad habits.  However, here are some practical guidelines I’ve learned and am using:

1.       REALIZE the divine you at your core.  The behaviors are from living your samsara.  Bad behavior can come from conditioning and lies, and you don’t have to believe badly about yourself.  Much ugly stuff comes from pain, so grieve and nurture, but don’t get lost in the pity party and move on because life is to be relished and enjoyed.  Love and forgive yourself and others.

2.       Silence.  Breathe.  Slow down the thinking, projecting, speculating, and judging mind.  Stop and be receptive to what the real experience is.

3.        HALT – this is used in AA groups and refers to not letting yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. My therapist added an S at the end to refer to taking care of yourself when you are sick.

4.       Nutrition, exercise, and meditation.  Your body and mind need to be in tip top shape for personal revolution.

5.       Focus on the positive such as loving relationships, beauty in the world and others, kindness, and positive changes.  Express gratitude as often as possible.  Use affirmations in any technique possible.  Watch your mind experience life as you are a soul having a human experience and not a human having spiritual experiences.

 


Remember that personality is really soul on brain-stuff.  Our primal soul-stuff light bubbles forth in various manifestations of refracted light.  We are not our past.  The past is gone so to use the present verb “are” is a lie.  We are the eternal aspect underneath.  That is something that is still there.  As we tune in to our eternal light selves, we can be more positive and make more positive change.  As we forgive our foibles and mistakes, let’s let that light shine through all of our little cracks and defects as we choose to creatively manifest our better selves.  Have fun!

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