Dougies Light

Last week I visited a friend of mine in the hospital.  I used to work with him only a few years ago.  I became friends with his wife and she used to do my taxes.  I became friends with his daughter and she used to give me massages.  Doug or Dougie as I like to call him, used to help me with a physics course I was taking.  He was Mensa and not only does he have a brilliant mind, but a vital spirit.  We had begun a dining club at work we called IDC “International Dining Club” that still meets regularly with different attendees.

Dougle’s fairly recent diagnosis of Parkinson’s is not really Parkinson’s.  It’s Multiple System Atrophy, a degenerating neurological condition with no cure.   He can hardly move anything anymore, and can hardly speak.  Before I went, I was praying that I could say the right things, do the right things…  I’m so awkward in cases like this as I suspect we all are.  I grabbed my book “Fear of Physics” to take as a conversation piece.

I was happy to see Marcelle there.  She is a tall beautiful and strong woman, whose nurturance had left her a little worn looking and slightly bent over.  The two of them, still very much in love, maintained a healthy banter with kindness and humor.  The first words out of my mouth were an honest observation, “Dougie, it is so good to see the light in your eyes.”  In spite of his situation, he still had that inner light – the pure essence at the core of all of us, and he let it shine.

Ekhart Tolle describes the process of death as a separation from that which is physical but the eternal goes on.  It is a disidentification from form.  If we are identified with form upon death, our consciousness will gradually awaken in to its formless state in a real we cannot even conceive of.  He offers advice and consolation.

 

The pain that Marcelle is experiencing grieving the future of what could have been in their lives together and seeing someone she loves so deeply become further and further disabled and seemingly wither away is real, intense, and runs deep.  I feel so sad for her and Dougie and the family and all their friends.  I feel sad for me.  Although I hadn’t kept up with him on a consistent basis, I care deeply for him and his family.

We are all mortal and we all will die.  However, the opposite of death is birth according to Tolle, and I believe that as we shed our earthly personas, we connect with our inner light that is our prime mover and we identify more with the “manifestor” of ourselves.  The personality is the soul on brain and its respective chemicals and experiences.  Shed the brain and such, and we are pure innocent light awaiting, manifesting self and experiencing raw unfiltered reality.  Tied to this physical realm, we are embryos of the universe.

 

Visiting Dougie and Marcelle was difficult, beautiful, painful, and a blessing to me.  I am honored to have such wonderful people who have touched me and given me so much.  I pray for them to have peace, strength, and as much joy and happiness as is possible in this tortuous transit

Update:  I visited again with my friend Rhia last night. His condition has worsened, but his soul is still precious, sweet, and a joy.  Marcelle is still staying strong and beautiful and full of poise and grace in such a horrible period.